England
The John Terry Rap
No John Terry can’t rap, he aint no John Barnes but his cheating snakelike behaviour can be rapped about and thanks to UK rapper Stylah it finally has!
11Feb2010 | Keyser | 1 comment | Continued
Ghost of Setanta still haunts England fans
The forthcoming World Cup qualifier between England and the Ukraine is in danger of becoming the least watched England game in the nations history. The combination of a meaningless game, unglamourus opposition and the ridiculous idea of pay per view streaming the game on the internet for £14.99 has destroyed any interest in the game. [...]
5Oct2009 | Keyser | 0 comments | Continued
The Adebayor brochure & Obama for number 10
We reveal how Emmanuel Adebayor has taken a leaf out of Michael Owens book and how the man in the Whitehouse is probably the best US soccer player ever TM
14Jul2009 | Keyser | 0 comments | Continued
Story of the season so far: September 08
Its time for part 2 of our review of the season as we move onto the month of September where things really started to hot up on and off the field. The first managerial casualties were claimed, the first of the top 4 clashes produced asurprise and one of the top 4 were all but out of the title race by the end of the month.
12Jan2009 | Keyser | 0 comments | Continued
Story of the season so far: August 08
Here is a recap of the Premier league season so far including all the most memorable moments from the PitchSlap point of view that is, starting with the month of August
9Jan2009 | Keyser | 1 comment | Continued
McClaren back in football
The wally with the brolly has finally got tired of spending the millions he made destroying England’s Euro 2008 hopes and has taken up the managers role at dutch side FC Twente. McClaren endured the shortest stint as England manager in the countries history but still managed to be hailed as the worst England boss [...]
20Jun2008 | Keyser | 0 comments | Continued
Foot-Bawlers XI
To kick off our close season series of footballing elevens here is a dream team of footballers who famously cried on the pitch, just to show Mr Terry is in very esteemed company.
2Jun2008 | Keyser | 0 comments | Continued
Redknapp threatens to sack young English drunks
Harry Redknapp has threatend to sack 4 English youngsters at his club who got a beer binge on the clubs Cup winners parade with the streets of Portsmouth
1Jun2008 | Keyser | 0 comments | Continued
Beckham back as England skipper
David Beckham will lead England out as Captain for the 59th time tomorrow as they take on Trinidad and Tobago and Fabio Capello experiments with his 4th and final captain.
31May2008 | Keyser | 0 comments | Continued
England line up for USA friendly
James
Brown Ferdinand Terry Cole
Beckham Hargreaves Gerrard Lampard
Defoe Rooney
England 2-0 USA
England dispatched the United States at wembley with ease and even manged to turn on the style in the second half. David Beckham swung a beautiful ball onto John Terry’s head [...]
Portsmouth win the FA Cup
Cardiff City 0-1 Portsmouth
Welcomed as a breath of fresh air, the first FA Cup final since 1991 not featuring any of the big 4 in England was not as dull as last years snoozefest but it was still a lack lustre affair, rarely punctuated by quality or goalmouth excitement. Kanu was at the centre of [...]
FA sets semi target for Capello
The English FA launched its strategic vision for English football today which included a minimum target for Fabio Capello and a vow to bring the World Cup Finals to England in 2018. Capello has been told by Brian Barwick that he must ensure qualification for the next 2 tournaments and reach the semi finals of [...]
6May2008 | Keyser | 0 comments | Continued
McClaren to be BBC Euro 2008 ‘expert’
The BBC has lost its marbles again, not content to let Ian Wright their most entertaining and colourful pundit slip out the back door they have now taken the extraordinary step of employing Steve McClaren as an expert pundit on their Euro 2008 coverage. I doubt anoyone could be less qualified as an expert on [...]
24Apr2008 | Keyser | 3 comments | Continued
Ian Wright quits the BBC
Ian Wright has walked out on his massive £50,000 a game deal with the BBC as he feels he is used as a court jester. Wright who is already signed to present Sky ones revamped Gladiators show says he’s not the only one fed up with the BBC’s coverage he reckons young people can’t relate [...]
17Apr2008 | Keyser | 0 comments | Continued
Redknapp to sue Police
Harry Redknapp is to take legal action against City of London Police who arrested the Portsmouth boss as part of the ongoing corruption in football inquiry. It is understood that Redknapp is unhappy that photograhers were alerted to the dawn raid on his luxury home and the subsequent bad press cost him the chance to [...]
16Apr2008 | Keyser | 0 comments | ContinuedGoal of the Month March 2008
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Tyson offers to counsel Gazza
Mike Tyson has thrown a lifeline of sorts to troubled former England star Paul Gascoigne. Gazza was recently sectioned under the mental health act and has suffered greatly since leaving the game, enduring a very public battle with Alcoholism and depression. Tyson’s own life was wracked with controversy, wrecked marriages, bad influences, violence and incarceration [...]
15Apr2008 | Keyser | 0 comments | Continued
Terry condemns spineless Arsenal
John Terry has given his verdict as the post-mortem into Arsenal’s faltering season continues. The former England captain has told the Sun that Arsenal’s season has collapsed because they don’t have the English backbone to keep them in the fight when the going gets tough:
“You need an English backbone – one with that force, that [...]
PFA Player of the year nominees
Its that time of the year when players are dusting off their tuxedo’s, practising their suprised look and preparing their tear filled oscar winner speeches, yes its awards time. First to announce their nominees are the Professional Footballers Association and there’s few suprises to be found in the shortlist.
Players’ Player of the Year
Emmanuel Adebayor (Arsenal)
Cristiano [...]

